Guess I will never know

I'm in conflict with my innerself.
Yet I don't know what it is about.
I think of a couple of things that it can be
but I'm not sure which it is?

I guess i'm starting to miss that which I never had.
I have reached a point where I don't know what to believe;
whether you did it or not!
I was just a child, how was I suppose to know?

I have flashbacks about that time.
Yet I don't know if it can be trusted.
I just kbow one thing...
I miss having you around.

I miss the things I spy from my friends:
seeing the glint in your eyes...proudness.
seeing the smile on your face...acceptance
...I don't know how it feels!

It never bothered me before, why?
I never needed you so bad before, that's why!

Where ever you are, waht ever you are doing...
Do you think of me?
Do you miss me?

Are you proud of me?

Guess I will never know...

(2003-07-04)