Why Am I Talking to AI?

(a reflection)

Typing my worries

Pouring out my concerns

Venting emotions

Laying it bare

Trying to put my feelings into words...

 

Rambling on in a message

No censoring taking place

No judgment in the response

No sighs, no silence, no shifting eyes

 

Just space —

to say what I need

to feel what I fear

to name what I can’t fix

 

Guiding me to what I need to feel

Telling me how to respond

Giving me a way forward

when I feel stuck in place

 

I’m talking to AI

because I can’t talk to you.

 

Not because I don’t want to

but because you asked me not to.

You need space —

and I respect that.

But it hurts.

 

We used to talk every day.

Now I talk into this quiet place

where the words don’t echo back

but at least they don’t disappear.

 

I’m scared for you.

I’m scared of silence.

I’m scared of losing you

to the dark you’re walking through.

 

But I’m still here.

Typing.

Hoping.

Waiting.

Loving you from a distance

you asked me to keep.

 

So I talk to AI

because it listens

when I can’t reach you.

 

Marelize Swanepoel

20 October 2025